Last night I packed up my apartment and headed over to the Timmons house for my last night. I had only cried Monday and was feeling great about everything. The process has been so smooth that it has left small room for doubt, but as I left my apartment tears welled up.
I realized that one of the reasons I had been so upset the day before was because I was trying to handle something that God wasn’t asking me to handle. I was dealing with the idea that I’ll never live in Southern California again, that the dream was now dead. The fact is I have no idea. All I know is that God is leading me to Atlanta for today, for this step.
I got to my car and whispered to God, “This is harder than I expected it be, I’d just love to live here again.” I then heard what seemed like an audible whisper, “I know you do beloved, but just focus on taking this one step with me.” I was instantly filled with a peace that transcended all my understanding.
A verse that was sent to me yesterday morning played over and over in my mind, “A man’s steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way? (Proverbs 20:24 ESV)”. As soon as I stopped trying to deal with what could or could not happen in the future and rested in the goodness of the moment, I felt free. Free to be excited for what’s to come, free to be ok with being sad in this transition, free to let His love cover me and free to rest in His leading arms.
I would not have written this journey this way, in my eyes it was cut short. Although, every other time in my life where I would have written things differently, I always look back and thank God that I was not, am not, the author.